The Five Stages of Grief
by GroundZeroFirework
Summary: A story in which a grieving Tsubasa tries to move on with her life. TsubaHonk!
**AN: Hello everybody and welcome to the TsubaHonk fic you've all been waiting for. Now, I have to warn you in case you didn't see the genre tags that this is a tragedy so prepare yourselves for a death, some feels and OOC-ness. Anyway, let's start!**

* * *

 **THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF**

* * *

 _ **THE BEGINNING**_

* * *

Tsubasa looked Honoka straight in the eye as she said the magic words that heralded the end to every relationship.

"I'm sorry, Tsubasa-chan but can you repeat what you said?" Honoka requested sheepishly yet a bit cheerfully as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"I'm breaking up with you I...fell in love with someone else, Honoka-chan. I'm sorry." Tsubasa firmly said. She didn't mean for it to happen but she fell in love with someone from UTX. She felt really bad to do this before their graduation days but she felt that it couldn't be put off. They've been dating since they were second years after μ's victory in the Love Live so she felt that she owed Honoka at least a clean break.

"I don't want to be unfair to you, Honoka-chan. So I think it's best we go our separate ways."

She expected Honoka to blow up on her. Get angry and yell at her. Tell her to never show her face around her ever again. But she didn't. Rather, she laughed before finally speaking.

"Okay, Tsubasa-chan. I'll let you go...if that's what'll make you happy." She said.

"You...aren't mad at me?" Tsubasa asked in confusion.

"No...why would I be? You know what they say; 'if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours to keep'. And I love you a lot, Tsubasa-chan. So you're free to go." Honoka said as tears flowed from her eyes. Before Tsubasa can say anything else, Honoka turned around and ran away.

She was set free...but why did she feel like something bad was going to happen?

...

It would only be two months later when that feeling was confirmed. One morning, Tsubasa woke up to a text from none other than Sonoda Umi, requesting that they meet at Kanda Myojin to discuss personal matters. Immediately, Tsubasa prepared for the meeting. She hasn't seen any of the μ's members since her break up with Honoka. After a while, she arrived at Kanda Myojin, where she spotted Umi sitting by the shrine, looking legitimately pissed off while tapping her phone against her hand.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up." Umi said as she continued looking at the ground while tapping her phone, anger prevalent in her voice.

"Umi-san, why did you request that we meet here?" Tsubasa asked with caution. She knew Sonoda Umi from Honoka's stories and the few times their groups got together. She was strict and authoritative but meant well for her friends, especially Honoka and Minami Kotori, whom she is currently dating. One thing she learned about Umi is that one should never get on her bad side.

"So, where is she?" Umi asked her, not once looking up.

"Umi-san, I'm confused. Who-"

Finally, as if her patience snapped, Umi stood up from her perch and approached Tsubasa.

"I'm talking about the person you dumped Honoka for. So, where is this...lovely lady who managed to steal your affections away?" Umi asked again as she circled Tsubasa and kept a close eye on her...like a hawk watching her prey.

"We...broke up a month after we started dating."

The entire relationship was a joke. It turns out that the girl was just using her. It made her realize that she never really loved that girl and that she still loves Honoka. It made leaving Honoka worthless. She would've gone back to her and told her that she was hers to keep. But she didn't know how and she felt as if she didn't have the right to be with Honoka ever again.

"I see. So...you left Honoka for nothing." Umi said with a much darker tone.

"I-yes and I'm-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Umi gave her a backhand slap to the face with an angry yell before following that up with a punch to her face and her gut. Once she was down, Umi circled her yet again.

"Get up, Tsubasa-san. Get up! I expect more from A-RISE's center."

When she couldn't, Umi took her by the collar of her shirt and held her at the top of the shrine's steps. One wrong miscalculation or once Umi lets her shirt go, she could end up at the bottom with a broken neck.

"Tell me why I shouldn't drop you off these stairs! Tell me why I shouldn't kill you like you did Honoka! Tell me! Tell me!" Umi yelled at her like a raving madman. "I really don't want to do this. But Honoka needs a new heart. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to get one for her."

She felt Umi's grip on her shirt loosening but before she can totally let her go, she and Umi were suddenly pushed to levelled ground. Once Tsubasa got her bearings, she saw that it was Ayase Eli who pushed them both. The other μ's members, minus Nishikino Maki, approached them with Erena and Anju helping her up.

"Umi-chan, please stop! Honoka-chan wouldn't want you to act like this!" Minami Kotori said as she physically restrained Umi by hugging her.

"She tainted Honoka's honor! Honoka is dying because of her!" Umi angrily yelled as tears streamed down her cheeks. Eli turned to her, as did Toujou Nozomi. The two women led her away from Umi's wrath.

"I suppose we owe you an explanation." Nozomi said. Her eyes were swollen and puffy, as if she'd been crying.

"Tsubasa-san, Umi speaks the truth; Honoka is dying. She doesn't have long. Her only hope now is a heart transplant and there's no donor that matches her as of now. She's knocking on death's door right now." Eli explained almost robotically, as if she's trying to emotionally detach herself from the situation.

"How?" Tsubasa asked as she rubbed her arms, too ashamed to even look them in the eye.

"Broken Heart Syndrome. It just happened. She just collapsed one day in school. I admit; even she had me fooled with the way she hid how affected she really was about your break up." Nozomi bitterly said. Tsubasa could see how furious she really was at her. Now that she took the time to carefully examine each of them, she actually saw how angry the others are at her. Even Hanayo and Nico gave her glares every once in a while. She can feel the disappointment from Anju, of all people. Only Erena seemed neutral in everything while Kotori held a sobbing Umi in her arms.

"Can...Can I see her?" Tsubasa requested. Nozomi shook her head and Eli explained further.

"Her parents don't want you there and Yukiho specifically requested you be barred from Honoka's room. I'm sorry, Tsubasa-san...but stay away from them."

With that warning said, Eli grabbed Nozomi by the arm and led her away. After Umi finally calmed down and they apologized on Umi's behalf, the members of μ's left the shrine. Erena and Anju, meanwhile, approached her.

"Hey. Are you alright?" Erena cautiously asked her. Tsubasa merely nodded in response.

"What will you do?" Anju asked as she put a hand on her shoulder.

"I don't know. But I have to do something." She responded as tears fell from her eyes.

"ICU wing." Erena said without missing a beat. Tsubasa looked at her and saw the mischievous glint in her eyes. She finally put together what she just said and ran off towards the direction of the only hospital Honoka was sure to be at...

 _Nishikino General Hospital_

...

Tsubasa arrived at the ICU wing and immediately found Honoka's room. Her parents don't seem to be around and Yukiho was sound asleep on a chair beside her sister. There was an oxygen mask on Honoka's face helping her breathe. It was quite a sight to see...the energetic and lively girl who brought a smile to everyone's faces now needed help to live. She quietly entered the room and kneeled beside Honoka before gently caressing her cheek. She took a few seconds to examine the girl she loved and found her as beautiful as the day they met, even if she was pale and couldn't even breathe on her own.

"Honoka-chan, it's me, Tsubasa. I heard what happened from Eli-san so I came here right away." She said in a quiet tone, so as to not disturb Yukiho from her sleep. "You'll get better, right? I know you will. When you do, I'll be waiting for you."

Tears fell from Tsubasa's eyes and onto Honoka's pale, limp hand. She brought the hand up to her lips and kissed it.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you but I'm back, Honoka-chan. I'm yours to keep forever." She said before finally breaking down. Once she calmed herself down enough, she stood up and pressed her lips to Honoka's forehead.

"I love you a lot, Honoka-chan. I'll be back tomorrow, okay?" She said before leaving the room as quietly as she came. As she walked out of the ICU wing, a familiar girl with red hair ran into her.

"Tsubasa-san." Nishikino Maki coldly greeted her.

"Maki-san." She nervously greeted back.

"What are you doing here? I thought Eli told you to stay away." The redhead reminded her.

"I have a right to see her, Maki-san!" She snapped at the younger girl.

"No, you don't! Because the family itself barred you! Now get out of here before I call security on you!" Maki yelled at her before she walked past Tsubasa. Who would've thought? The cool, calm and collected Nishikino Maki finally losing her patience. Before Tsubasa can start walking again, Maki called for her.

"Tsubasa-san!"

She immediately turned around and saw the girl's cold, expressionless face.

"Don't ever step foot in my hospital's ICU wing as long as Honoka-chan is here. Got that?" She asked her. Without waiting for her answer, she stalked off into the ICU wing. Tsubasa, in the meantime, ran off upstairs, eager to make an appointment with a doctor.

...

The next day, Tsubasa entered the ICU wing of the hospital with flowers in hand for Honoka. When she arrived in front of the room, however, her breath was caught in her throat at the scene.

Maki herself was working hard to perform CPR on Honoka while the members of μ's and the Kousaka family were on standby inside the room. Without even noticing Tsubasa, Maki's mother barged in the room and stopped Maki before further examining Honoka.

"I am so sorry." Dr. Nishikino told them with a somber tone. Kotori immediately fell into Umi's arms as she cried and the Kousaka family tightly embraced each other and their last daughter as they mourned. In her shock, Tsubasa lost her grip on the flowers before she slowly turned around and walked away, eventually breaking into a run. Everything went by in a blur for her. She just ran and ran and ran until she eventually found herself in the park bench where she confessed to Honoka. She remembered how they went out for ice cream that day and how as Honoka regaled her with stories from her childhood with Umi and Kotori, she just leaned in and kissed the ginger haired girl. It was a moment she wished she could just go back to and live in forever. Feeling weak all of a sudden when the adrenaline left her, she collapsed on the bench and dissolved into a crying mess.

"Honoka-chan...Honoka-chan...come back...Honoka-chan..." She begged but ultimately, there was no one there to hear her plea.

* * *

 _ **DENIAL**_

* * *

" _Japan's Idol Industry suffers a tragedy today as a former School Idol and_ _μ's member, Kousaka Honoka-san, has died from a sudden cardiac arrest. Though disbanded, μ's_ _still remains to be one of the most loved school idols in the country alongside the idol group, A-RISE. The Kousaka family as well as the other members of μ's_ _have requested the public and the media for privacy in their time of mourning..."_

Tsubasa turned the TV off immediately with the remote, puzzling Erena and Anju, who turned to look at her. With Tsubasa's parents out of town and having heard of Honoka's death and worrying for their daughter, her parents can only turn to Erena and Anju to take care of her for the week they were gone.

"What the hell, Tsubasa?" Anju asked her in confusion.

"You guys are actually listening to that trash? Honoka isn't dead. She just went somewhere for a while." Tsubasa defiantly said before walking off to the kitchen. The two looked at each other in alarm before jumping up to follow her.

"Tsubasa, what are you talking about? Honoka is dead. We saw her body. Her parents even asked us if you even have an ounce of dignity to pay your respects at her funeral." Erena told her.

"She's not dead. It's just a game she usually plays with me. She'll leave all of a sudden without saying where she's going; it's like a prelude to foreplay whenever she was over and my parents weren't around." She admitted with a blush on her face. "She'll be back. I know she will. Drink?"

Tsubasa pulled out bottles of juice for them and a bar of chocolate as well. Anju took the bar and hit her over the head with it, causing her to cry out in pain.

"Wake up, Tsubasa-chan! Honoka is dead! She's never coming back! You think you're the only one grieving? What about μ's, who treated her like a sister? Especially Umi-san and Kotori-san? What about her parents, who loved her and Yukiho-chan, who looked up to her? Wake up and smell the coffee, Tsubasa-chan! And while you're at it, why don't you grow a backbone and pay your respects to her?" Anju angrily yelled at her. Erena gently grabbed her by the shoulders as Tsubasa started crying.

"I-I don't…she-she can't be gone. She can't be!" She yelled as she collapsed on the floor. It must have been a pitiful sight; a popular idol like her weeping like a child for someone she left and realized she loved too late. Erena and Anju kneeled beside her and embraced her as she cried.

It was the best they could do since they can't give her what she actually wanted…

* * *

 _ **ANGER**_

* * *

Once Tsubasa realized that Honoka was dead, she tried to go on with her life. And it was going badly. Her family and friends worried for her. She was constantly angry. Her father even suspected that she started drinking because some of the liquor in the house suddenly upped and vanished. Since they can't properly operate as a group as of late, Erena and Anju had no choice but to declare A-RISE on hiatus. Naturally, the press had a field day with them and, to an extent, the Kousaka family and μ's members. Because the rumors just started popping up that Tsubasa and Honoka had broken up before her death and that a broken heart was what killed her; rumors that were only waiting to be confirmed seeing as they weren't far from the truth. If say…Yukiho or Umi, the two who held the strongest grudge against Tsubasa, were to confirm this, Erena and Anju feared that it would be the end of Tsubasa's career as an idol and A-RISE itself.

"Tsu-chan." Anju called for her as she knocked on the girl's door. Silence was the only answer they received. Erena pulled Anju out of the way and opened the door; it wasn't even locked. The sight that greeted them was…atrocious; it was like an F5 tornado angrily copulated with an incredibly large hurricane and the love-child was Tsubasa's room. Her clothes were strewn about, her sheets were ripped, her pillows were destroyed, her TV had a crack in it and there were broken glasses from liquor bottles almost everywhere. The only things that were left untouched were her laptop, her bookshelf and her nightstand, where her pictures with Honoka were placed. Tsubasa was passed out on the corner of the room with her laptop placed in front of her.

"My God, she's passed out drunk." Erena said as they cautiously went around Tsubasa's room. Both girls helped the unconscious girl onto her bed. Anju immediately grabbed the laptop and looked at what Tsubasa was looking at; it was Honoka during their _Snow Halation_ performance.

"Let's go, Anju. We'll wait for her downstairs until she wakes up." Erena said as she gently led Anju out. Both women left kisses on their friend's forehead before walking out.

Minutes later, Tsubasa opened her eyes and sat up in her bed. The first thing her eyes landed at was a picture of Honoka on her nightstand. Tears streamed down her eyes yet again before she grabbed the picture frame and with an angry yell, she threw it to the wall opposite her

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?" was her anguished cry as she went on a rampage in her room yet again. When she accidentally kicked her laptop and _Snow Halation_ started playing, she calmed down and realized her mistake. She had no right to ask why Honoka left her; it wasn't like she had a choice in the matter. If anything, Honoka should be the one asking that. Maybe she did and…like her…never received an answer. She walked over to the picture frame and grabbed it as she removed the broken glass before she sat on her bed.

"Heh…I guess it's my fault, huh? I left you first after all…" She said with a bitter chuckle. Tsubasa fell asleep, not once letting go of the picture frame in her arms.

* * *

 _ **BARGAINING**_

* * *

About a week after Tsubasa's episode with her anger, she finally plucked up the willpower to go to her University classes and practices with Anju and Erena. Eventually, a month passed and the two A-RISE members and her parents were extremely put off by her behavior; just a month ago, she was pissed off and screaming bloody murder because of Honoka's death. Now, a month later, Tsubasa was awfully chipper, her usually above average grades dramatically increased and she was extra cheerful in their lives. It was a tad disturbing but ultimately, they decided to put up with it for Tsubasa's sake.

"Yosh! I'm going home, guys! Great work today! See you tomorrow!" Tsubasa said one day after practice before running off. After about an hour or two, she finally arrived home.

" _Tadaima_!" She called out as she entered her house. Her father readily greeted her with a kiss and a hug.

"Okaeri, Tsu-chan." He greeted her.

"Hello, papa. Please tell mama that I'll be down for dinner in a bit. Just have to finish some schoolwork." She said before she headed upstairs. Tsubasa's mother emerged from the kitchen, telephone in hand.

"Should I call them?" She asked him.

"Yes, please do." He responded but before she could even dial a single digit, the door bell rang.

…

When Tsubasa arrived in her room, she immediately put her things down and approached her bookshelf and kneeled before it.

" _Tadaima,_ Honoka-chan." She said as she looked at a photo of Honoka. She stayed silent for a bit before speaking up again.

"I-I did really well in my exams this semester, Honoka-chan. They said a little bit more and I could make the honor roll. A-RISE is going well too. A lot of people have been coming to our lives as always. I think you'd be really happy."

A moment of silence.

"You know, sometimes when we perform, I like to imagine that you're standing in the crowd like you used to. And…just seeing you there for a moment, even if it's just my imagination, really makes me happy."

Yet again, she stopped talking for a moment; as if waiting for an answer.

"Hey, Honoka-chan, if I keep this up and make you happy enough, you'll come back, right? I don't know when but…you'll be back right?" She asked, her voice laced with hope. Behind her, the door swung open and she saw Erena and Anju standing on the other side. Pity was written all over their faces.

"You heard it all, didn't you?" She asked them and they nodded before approaching to hug her.

"She's not coming back, is she?" Tsubasa asked. The pair hesitantly shook their heads as they held her until she started crying yet again. It wasn't easy to crush her hopes but it had to be done. They felt that the sooner Tsubasa accepted the fact that Honoka was gone, the sooner she can move on with her life. After all, isn't that what Honoka would want for her?

"I just want her to come back." She said in between sobs.

"We know, Tsu-chan. We know. Everyone wants her back too." Anju whispered as she and Erena held her in their arms.

* * *

 _ **DEPRESSION**_

* * *

Another month has passed after that and now, Tsubasa was sitting in her room; she wasn't moving, she wasn't sleeping, she was simply…existing On the times she did move, it was to eat a little, take a shower and go to school with Anju and Erena. When she finally realized that absolutely NOTHING was going to bring Honoka back, she fell into a deep depression and it was like her brain short-circuited and she could only did things in a robotic fashion. She would study, eat, sleep and repeat the process with some minor details in between. Sometimes at home, she would call Honoka's phone (which surprisingly still works) to listen to the voice recording just to hear her voice again. Out of nowhere, Tsubasa's phone started buzzing and she read the message; it was from Yukiho, asking her to meet at the park where she confessed to Honoka. Tsubasa got up and took a shower. She really didn't want to go outside or even move but it must be really important if Yukiho was calling her out.

'Maybe she wants to tell me something. Or kill me. Either way is fine, especially the latter. At least, it'll finally put me out of my misery and I'll get to be with Honoka-chan again. Honoka-chan…'

Tears leaked from Tsubasa's eyes yet again before she composed herself and continued her preparations.

…

Tsubasa was walking around the park and from a distance, saw Yukiho sitting on the bench that held a lot of sentimental value to her. She was eating an apple and was cutting it out with a pocket knife.

'Great. Maybe she really does want to kill me.'

After Honoka's death, Yukiho suddenly started fostering not only a grudge but also quite a temper. Only her parents, the former μ's members and most importantly, Ayase Arisa can curb the anger she felt about her sister's death.

"Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to sit down?" Yukiho asked without tearing her eyes away from the park's landscape. Tsubasa sat down on the other end of the bench, tucking her hands in the pockets of her hoodie.

"You look like a slob." The younger woman coldly remarked. Back then, Tsubasa wore very fashionable clothes suited for the season but nowadays, she would only wear jeans, sneakers, a shirt and the black hoodie that Honoka got her for her birthday when they were still together. Whenever she had to go out, she would keep the hood up, not just to prevent people from identifying her but also because she felt the need to hide from something. She had no idea what it was; maybe it was her guilt or her sorrow. Yeah…that had to be it…

"Yukiho-chan-"

"Don't. You lost the right to call me that when you left my sister." She said, still not sparing her a glance.

"Yukiho-san, why did you call me out here?" Tsubasa asked her.

"Don't act like I wanted to be here. I wouldn't be if it weren't for Arisa-chan. I'm here to give you this."

Yukiho slid a teddy bear with a small pocket towards her. Inside that pocket was a small plastic box. The older girl took it and saw what was inside; an SD card fit for a camera.

"It's from Onee-chan. It's for you. She left everyone one of those apparently." She said before standing up. Yukiho was about to walk away when she abruptly stopped.

"You know, everyone's hurting over this. Even me. I am tired of crying my eyes out every night for my sister. I'm scared of facing the world without her and I feel incredibly lost in this world without her cheering for me, even in the sidelines. They say you only realize how much you love someone when they're gone. Did you? Do you ever miss her? Do you feel even an ounce of remorse for what you've done?" The younger woman asked, finally finding it in her to even spare a glance. Yukiho knew that it wasn't fair of her to single Tsubasa out like this since she was probably suffering as much as they were and her older sister wouldn't want that. But to be honest, she felt too consumed by her grief to even care.

"I realized I loved her the moment that woman left me. And I miss her and I feel remorse for what I've done every single day." Tsubasa responded, feeling too ashamed to look at her former lover's sister.

"Good." Yukiho said before finally walking away. Tsubasa grabbed the bear and walked home, eager to see what Honoka left her.

…

When Tsubasa arrived home, she immediately went to her room and slapped the SD no her laptop. Once it registered, she opened the sole item in it; a video dated the day of Honoka's collapse. When the video started playing, she was met with Honoka's tired yet smiling face as she sat on her bed in front of her camera and immediately, the waterworks started. She had missed that smile so much. She would give up anything and everything to have Honoka in her arms again for just an hour or a minute…she'll even take a second so long as she could see Honoka again.

" _Hi, Tsubasa-chan. How are you? I…uh…I hope you're doing alright with her. I'm doing well. College is a pain so far but it's fine. Umi-chan and Kotori-chan are with me and we see Nico-chan, Nozomi-chan and Eli-chan every once in a while when we're free. I hope things are going well for A-RISE too. Anyways, I'll get to the point; wouldn't want to waste your time. The reason I'm leaving you this is because I'm…getting this feeling that I'll be going away soon. I don't know where but it's just a gut feeling. My chest hurts a lot sometimes and I don't want to tell the others because I don't want them to be scared or alarmed. I left them messages like these too. Yours is with the teddy bear I got you for our 2_ _nd_ _Anniversary. Or…at least, what should've been our 2_ _nd_ _Anniversary. Tsubasa-chan, I know that if I go away, you'll be really guilty and you'll think my leaving was your fault. If I'm wrong; okay, you can stop watching this now because I'm just making a fool of myself. But…if I'm right, I want you to know that it's not. It's not your fault. Hopefully, I'll be able to stick around for a long time and see you again but if not…then what happens, happens. I just…want you to know how much I still love you, Tsubasa-chan and how much I always will. Please move on; don't miss me too much and be happy doing the things you love. Even if I go away, I'll always be with you in your heart. I love you a lot, Tsubasa-chan and even if you forget me, I'll hope against all hope that you don't forget that. I have to go…class will be starting soon and Umi-chan will be after me again if I'm late. Good bye."_

When the video ended, the screen cut to black and Tsubasa could only look down on the teddy bear she was tightly clutching in her arms as her tears fell on its head. Why was this happening to her? She was the one who hurt Honoka…so why was Honoka the one to pay the price for it? Shouldn't it be her? Shouldn't she be the one punished for it? Or maybe this was her punishment; doomed to live her life without the one she loves the most. That had to be it…

"I love you a lot too, Honoka-chan."

* * *

 _ **ACCEPTANCE**_

* * *

For a week, Tsubasa struggled with her depression and her inner demons. She wanted to fulfill Honoka's request of moving on with her life. And she knew that even if she did it, she would always be broken on the inside. But…she at least wanted to live a little. Currently, she was walking in the cemetery towards Honoka's resting place in the Kousaka family tomb. The last time she was here was Honoka's funeral and that was about 2 months ago. Finally, she found it and Tsubasa kneeled before it as she placed the flowers in front of the tomb.

"Hi, Honoka-chan. Um…how are you? Are you lonely up there? I hope not. It'll be a while before I can be there with you."

Tsubasa stayed silent for a bit, fiddling with her teddy bear that she was currently holding.

"You know, when you were in the hospital, Umi tried to kill me so she could get you a heart. So, the day I went to visit you in the hospital, I also went to see a doctor afterwards. I asked them if they can take my heart to give it to you but…they said I wasn't a match. And the fact that I'm not dead didn't help either."

She paused for a moment to wipe her tears away and clear her throat before continuing to speak.

"I would've taken my own life and given you my heart in less than a minute if it meant that you would stick around a little while longer. But I guess I was too late. Now, I would give anything and everything if I could just spend one more day with you. But you wouldn't want me wishing these things would you? You want me to move on and live my life. I can't promise you anything, Honoka-chan, but I can try. I don't know…how I'm going to love someone as much as I love you. Besides, I tried to come back for you, didn't I? And…I guess that means I'm yours to keep forever, Honoka-chan."

Tsubasa wiped her eyes as she let out a small chuckle. Oh, if the media saw her now, it would be the end of her. But right now, she didn't really care.

"I have something for you, by the way." She said as she pulled something out of her bag. It was a small stuffed toy of a Panda. The one that Honoka wanted but never really had the money to buy.

"I know you've been wanting this Panda even when we were together. I wish you could've just asked me to buy it for you. I would've gotten it for you before it was too late. I would've loved seeing your face light up like a kid on Christmas when you get this. But I guess that's not happening so I'll just leave Panda-kun here with you, alright?" She said as she placed a headband with an umbrella on the Panda's head to protect it as much as possible from the elements before setting it on the tombstone. Tsubasa then pressed her teddy bear close to the Panda's lips to make it look like they were kissing before she stood up, still clutching the teddy bear close to her.

"Happy 2nd Anniversary, Honoka-chan. I love you so much." She whispered before she slowly started to walk away. Before she made the turn that would lead the way to the cemetery's exit, she turned around and waved, hoping that Honoka would somehow see it.

* * *

 _ **LIFE GOES ON**_

* * *

Years passed since Honoka's death and still she remains loved by the family, friends and fans that she left behind. Those who were left behind, meanwhile, had no choice but to move on with their lives.

Kotori and Umi, now a fashion designer and a University professor respectively, eventually married and were successful in their careers. About a year after their marriage, they had a little girl they named Honoka, to honor the childhood friend who made their lives much more colorful and adventurous. To prepare herself to start anew with her family, Umi eventually found it in herself to forgive Tsubasa and she was now raising her newborn child with Kotori without any anger or burdens in her heart…

Nozomi and Eli became a photographer and lawyer, respectively. Eventually, they also married and are now expecting their second child. Their eldest, much to their delight, was growing up to be as mischievous as Nozomi and as smart and sensible as Eli. Her energy, however, was ceaseless. Almost as if a blessing from their dearly departed friend…

Rin became a Physical Education teacher at Otonokizaka while Hanayo became an idol agent; her eye for talent becoming extremely valuable in the industry. Rin recently proposed to Hanayo, who eagerly accepted the proposal…

Maki became a doctor, poised to take over the hospital. But she never once gave up on music, still playing and teaching piano to children whenever she could. This was all thanks to her fiancée, Nico, who became a popular radio host. Both were to be married in two weeks time, elated yet sad because Honoka wouldn't be able to be there to take part in the joyous occasion…

Yukiho, who took over her family's shop after her parents' retirement, married Arisa the year before. Arisa recently gave birth to their first child; a ginger haired baby girl, who looks almost exactly like her deceased aunt. It was this event that helped Yukiho finally move on from Honoka's death and she finally stopped being scared…

As for A-RISE, they eventually made the decision to disband. However, they were still sought after for their beauty and talent and they became actresses in several movies and soap operas. Anju and Erena have been married for a year now, making their fans wonder about Tsubasa's love life since it's been years since Honoka's death. Whenever she was asked and interviewed about this, she would always say the same thing:

" _I promised Honoka-chan that I was hers to keep forever. And I'm going to do my best to keep that promise for as long as I can."_

…

Tsubasa was walking the streets of Akihabara towards Anju and Erena's home. The two invited her over for dinner and that's where her destination was set.

'What should I do tomorrow? Maybe I should visit Umi-san and Kotori-san. I haven't seen them in a while and it would be nice to see them and little Honoka-chan. Maybe I should pay Yukiho-san and Arisa-san a visit as well.' Tsubasa thought as she walked the pedestrian lane with a bunch of other people. Just as she was about to step into the other side, however, she felt something brush against her cheek. Almost like a kiss.

" _Happy Anniversary, Tsubasa-chan."_

Just as Tsubasa stepped on the sidewalk and into safety, she abruptly stopped and turned around to the other side. There, in the sea of people, she saw a woman with ginger hair and blue eyes, not looking a day over 18; it was Honoka. In her arms, she held a Panda stuffed toy. She gave Tsubasa a warm smile. For a second, a salaryman obscured Tsubasa's view of her and when he finally moved out of the way, Honoka was gone. At that moment, Tsubasa felt a weight being lifted from her shoulders and her heart and she smiled as she looked up at the starry sky.

"Happy Anniversary, Honoka-chan." She whispered before she continued on her way.

She may not be with Honoka now but life goes on.

And that's how it has to be…

* * *

 **AN: Finally done! I honestly did not know what I wanted while writing this. I just know that I wanted to write a tragedy fic. I'm sorry if you guys don't like the OOC-ness but please, let's try to remember that this is a fic where someone died and let's also try to remember that sometimes grief changes a person. Think about that when you guys whine about the OOC-ness of several characters. I hope you guys enjoyed this story and that you guys aren't drowning in your tears yet. Reviews are appreciated.**

 **Firework out!**


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